how i feel

well yesterday i couldn't  go to Rockridge with the class. because my mom recently passed away. man i really miss her a lot. i wished she could still be right here next to me. i would tell how much she meant to me. me and my mom would sometimes argue with one another, if she was still alive. i would try  to not argue with her. man i feel like , i am the one supposed to be dead not my mom. i feel like my brothers and sisters don't need. that they need  more my mom than. that's how  i feel.and my mom's mass was yesterday.  we didn't bury our mother we got her cremated. but before that while my mom was still in the hospital, we decided to donate her organs. we donated her heart, her liver,her kidneys, and her pancreas. She help  save five peoples lives. thank god she is in heaven. she used to go to church when ever she had a chance. i should have gone with her , when she invited me to go with her